Dear....
There are good things we can do, but only God-things we should do. Those activities not born out of the Spirit will result in wood, hay, and stubble. What seems good in our eyes may be an abomination in God's eyes."
( "The pitfall of being entrepreneurial." Os Hillman 20 Sep 2014)
In my young and restless days, changing job every 3 years was a deliberate strategy on my part to move myself out of my comfort zone. This was in preparation for my intended plan to go into independent employ by age 35. Moving every 3 years force me to broaden my network as one has to rebuild a new business all over again.
Change does bring a sense of unease, but maybe I was younger and hungrier then, and there was that pot of gold waiting for me if I reach the end of the rainbow.
'Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, and trust in the multitude of their chariots.......but do not look to the Holy One of Israel or seek help from the Lord.'
Isaiah 31:1-2
Like the treasure seekers of El Dorado, I had thought that I had finally found that elusive glittering city. And my lifelong dream of being self employed and financially independent was on track. The Asian crisis of the 1990s did hinder but never derailed that momentum. But by the grace of God, His Spirit fell upon me and realigned my focus from mammon to Him. It has been 15 years since that defining moment and like all who are willing, I am still being perfected.
'The voice of one crying in the wilderness. Prepare the way of the Lord. Make His paths straight.'
Matthew 3:2
An adventurous spirit I might seem in my younger days. But in reality, it was the desire to be in control of my life that drove me to move enough times out of my comfort zone. But when our good Lord called me to step out of Merrill after 17 years, an abode that I have entrenched myself in comfortably, and where God had used me wonderfully, it was with great reluctance and even greater fear.
He was saying, "You don't need to worry about your business if you respond to the call of God on your life. All the material things will take care of themselves."
( 26 Sep Os Hillman)
It's been nearer three years since I stepped out in obedience to our Lord. This wandering in the desert has been challenging yet a wonderful time of learning to totally depend upon our Lord. It has also been a necessary time of being trained and prepared for the fulfillment of God's plans that I am blessed to be chosen to partake with other faithful children of Him. A half step into Canaan it has been, but now the Lord has called and I have committed to fully step out to claim the lands He has spoken to me back in year 2009, and is now leading me to.
For when God calls, He leaves no room for doubts in our hearts as to the clarity and certainty that it is indeed He Who has spoken. In the space of 24 hours, He has literally plastered His command for me in a boxed like manner, that wherever I turn, I see His command.
And Moses said unto the Lord, See, thou sayest unto me, Bring up this people: and thou hast not let me know whom thou wilt send with me.
Exodus 33:12
Headiness, not heaviness of heart. Not a sense of foreboding but rather a giddiness knowing that God will help me to soar, yet a disinclination to let go of the firm footing of one's terra firma.
Like Moses, I know God. I have on enough occasions been awed and blessed by His grace and power at work in my life. Yet at every step into a new season of my life, like Moses, I always struggle with these basic questions
- who will go with me?(Exodus 33:12)
- which way should I go to do Your will?(Exodus 33:13)
- and should You Lord not go with me as promised, then please do not send me forth!
(Exodus 33:15)
- and just to be sure,can You God show me a sign(Exodus 33:18)
And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.
Exodus 33:14
Abide and rest in the Lord. Move only when His Spirit moves me. Not about raring to go, or rushing about doing, but rather keeping a ready heart.
And waiting upon our Lord is the key to responding to His call.
And on sign, just last sat, after my regular time at the gym, I noticed a bony growth just below my right knee. It must have literary popped by magically. From what I read on the internet, it is quite a common occurrence though in more serious cases, it could be a cancerous tumor.
A good reminder from our Lord that much as we often are afraid to let go and let Him. The truth is that life is finite and but a breath away. We cannot hold on to the things that are temporal nor need we fear the future, for God is looking at now, and our willingness to trust in His grace today. It is a privilege to be called by God and I know now that by His grace, I can and will respond without doubt, fear or trepidation, for He is indeed Sovereign.
And indeed I must have progressed in my faith.
- Back in yr 2000, I needed the full sanctification of the Holy Spirit before I could move from mere believer to determined follower
- In Sep 2011, by His grace I was made aware of my heart condition. And two months later, our good Lord spoke to me to prepare to leave Merrill after 17 eventful but blessed years
- now, my growth below my knee came not before but after I have committed to fully obey God's call to step out, our God is good. With this, He put into perspective for me the need to live each day as the last, to serve our Lord as he makes us ready.
Part of this sharing was penned back in Sep 2014. It is time to bring it to the light, that is what I felt the Spirit of God impressed upon me. And indeed, this last verse from Psalm 23, a Psalm popular as an eulogy in funerals, spoke to me. God has never failed me. And much as it is indeed reassuring to know that He is with us when He takes us home. It is even more comforting that He has never and will never leave us.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Psalms 23:6
Indeed as my spiritual mentor Bunty Collins reminded all in her video lesson "Walking in the presence of God," when we come unto His presence, we receive rest, peace and joy. But we will also discover the plans He has for us, to delight and inspire us.
The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places;
yea, I have a goodly heritage.
Psalms 16:6
我所需要的你天天赐给我。你恩典够我用
God blesses
Eng HIEANG
31 Jan 2015
An after note : Gideon
(9 Feb 2015)
Today I have fixed for an operation next Monday to remove the cyst. Interestingly, this cyst I found out today is also named Gideon's disease. God has never failed to amaze me with His prescience. Just in my last sharing, God so deeply impressed upon my heart the story on Gideon that I wrote about naming myself Gideon. And indeed this act of removing the Gideon disease is very symbolic of God riding me once and for all of my perennial fears of financial insecurity that has always marked my life, and that has hindered me from experiencing fully His wonderful plans for those who trust Him.
And by His Divine intervention, I am now doing a simpler operation then was originally suggested. And this 2nd doctor use the word "Alpha" from the Book of Revelations to name his clinic. How apt for me, for indeed it is the "beginning" of a new chapter in my life, in the service of our Lord. And "NewLife" is the name that God has put into my heart for my new season with Him.
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